Talk:Dhammakaya meditation

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Good article Dhammakaya meditation has been listed as one of the Philosophy and religion good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Good topic star Dhammakaya meditation is part of the Dhammakaya movement in Thailand series, a good topic. This is identified as among the best series of articles produced by the Wikipedia community. If you can update or improve it, please do so.
Did You Know Article milestones
Date Process Result
August 1, 2017 Peer review Reviewed
March 10, 2018 Good article nominee Listed
August 23, 2018 Good topic candidate Promoted
Did You Know A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on April 23, 2018.
The text of the entry was: Did you know ... ... that Luang Pu Sodh Candasaro set up a "meditation workshop" to practice Dhammakaya meditation in shifts?
Current status: Good article
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Work in progress

I am try editing this page, so please not speed delete it. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Philothai (talkcontribs)

Hello, please use the {{wip}} template on the article to indicate that. Also, please sign your comments on talk pages by typing four tildes (~~~~) after your message. -- intgr 10:00, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

It appear that this article as well as related ones are written by a Dhammakaya follower. There is nothing wrong with it as long as it is sourced from the third party verifiable source (i.e. media or academic). Please read the editorial policy of this site, especialy NPOV. "The most ancient..." or "the best evar..." type of contents is not really good. Vapour


Dhammakaya(Crystal ball meditaton) is not Buddhism meditation, It's only Phramongkolthepmuni technique. Don't have any crytal ball meditation in tipitaka

Disputed

  1. Many of the facts here are clearly inaccurate, even including the years in Phramongolthepmuni's timeline. Phramongkolthepmuni attained the Dhammakaya in 1917, not 1914. Many other things seem not well checked and perhaps even original research. S_Khemadhammo 22:20, 16 April 2016 (CET)
  2. I have now added a new reference in the reference list (Exemplary...), of which the years contradict with source 1 (Life and Times...). Since the reference 'Exemplary' is directly translated from Thai, and the timeline corresponds with all Thai biographies i have come across, the years of this book are preferable. E.g. Phramongkolthepmuni attained the Dhammakaya in 1917, not 1914. S Khemadhammo (talk) 00:57, 19 April 2016 (UTC)
  3. Ekalyanamagga is a typo for ekayanamagga.[1] S Khemadhammo (talk) 13:41, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
  4. I have not come across any teaching of Phramongkolthepmuni in which he compares the inner bodies with the five eyes, nor is this taught in Wat Phra Dhammakaya to my knowledge. Can anyone refresh my memory? If not, i'll be so bold to remove this table.S Khemadhammo (talk) 13:12, 18 April 2016 (UTC)
Greetings, S Khemadhammo! I hope you don't mind that I numbered the points your brought up so I can reply more consistently. Anyway, with respect to the issue number two, the "Dhammakaya Open University" source can hardly contradict with Dhammakāya Foundation (1996), since the year range suggested by the former (p. 154) goes from 2427 B.E. to 2502 B.E. The issue number four, I actually noticed the same and ultimately decided to remove the whole table (it was completely out of the article context anyway). Cheers! Jayaguru-Shishya (talk) 09:33, 20 April 2016 (UTC)
Great, good idea, Jayaguru-Shishya! Thanks for you help. Could you expand on the point of the year range? I am not sure what you are refering to here, but all sources i have come across report the year Phramongkolthepmuni attained Dhammakaya as 1917, not 1914. In converting Buddhist Era years to Common Era, we should substract 543 years, and i suspect the 1996 reference has not done this properly.S Khemadhammo (talk) 20:25, 20 April 2016 (UTC)
Okay, i have now addressed the issue of the incorrect quote of the Visuddhimagga, also refered to in another reference as 'Vism.' The page number i provided was correct in the 5th edition, but the link that has been linked to http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nanamoli/PathofPurification2011.pdf is the 4th edition. I have now adjusted the page numbers to fit this edition and added the relevant quote to prove the point.S Khemadhammo (talk) 21:06, 20 April 2016 (UTC)
The year numbers in the 1996 source[2] are incorrect, as i mentioned above. The Open University reference http://book.dou.us/download.php?file=gl305e.pdf has another list of years in the page mentioned in the article refrence (page 154). The correct years can also be found in the Thai wikipedia article https://th.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E0%B8%9E%E0%B8%A3%E0%B8%B0%E0%B8%A1%E0%B8%87%E0%B8%84%E0%B8%A5%E0%B9%80%E0%B8%97%E0%B8%9E%E0%B8%A1%E0%B8%B8%E0%B8%99%E0%B8%B5_(%E0%B8%AA%E0%B8%94_%E0%B8%88%E0%B8%99%E0%B8%BA%E0%B8%97%E0%B8%AA%E0%B9%82%E0%B8%A3) if you can read Thai. I will see if I can find any English-language sources to verify which timeline is conclusively correct. S Khemadhammo (talk) 21:14, 20 April 2016 (UTC)
Sorry S Khemadhammo, my bad! I was looking for the source online myself, and I didn't quite notice that I replaced the reference with an older edition. Thanks for your corrections though, S Khemadhammo!
Frankly speaking, I am not an expert when it comes to the Buddhist calendar. I noticed that neither of the sources (Dhammakaya Open University or Dhammakāya Foundation) is actually a WP:THIRDPARTY source; do you think there was a scholarly secondary source available to set the timeline right? I am afraid that taking one thing from a primary source, and then interpreting it to fit another context, could actually constitute WP:OR. JimRenge, you must be more qualified with these issues? :-D Cheers! Jayaguru-Shishya (talk) 18:12, 21 April 2016 (UTC)
That may be quite difficult to find, especially in English language. None of the biographies of Phramongkolthepmuni I know of are WP:THIRDPARTY. However, as I said before, it seems all Thai-language sources do agree on the timeline. The problems only exist in English-language sources due to incorrect conversion from the Buddhist Era. Is there some way we make an offically agreed upon translation from a Thai source through Wikipedia methods?S Khemadhammo (talk) 20:17, 21 April 2016 (UTC)
Jayaguru-Shishya, I share your concern about WP:OR: "taking one thing from a primary source, and then interpreting it to fit another context" is WP:OR. We are not allowed to use "religious texts as primary sources without referring to secondary sources that critically analyze them." I have seen this problem in many articles about religious topics. The result is often an inside view that does not fit into an encyclopedia (see also WP:PRIMARY). The only secondary sources in this article are Bechert and Cousins and I doubt that Bechert states anything specific about Dhammakaya meditation. JimRenge (talk) 21:37, 21 April 2016 (UTC)
This topic is actually discussed below, but anyway, here goes: second source quotes can actually be added easily. For example, if you notice, there is also a Dutch page on the same topic which i wrote myself and this page doesn't have this issue. In fact, the need to quote the Tipitaka all the time instead of Dhammakaya teachers may come from some previous editors here trying to give more credit to the Dhammakaya tradition. Since by now, this hasn't turned out very well, I suggest we simply add more references from Dhammakaya tradition teachers, notably Phramongkolthepmuni himself, and voila, the problem is solved. I'll get to this as soon as I can. I need to trace down a book to do this. S Khemadhammo (talk) 22:45, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

General discussion

Hi there, S Khemadhammo. Do you happen to know to which page the Davids (1896) source is referring to exactly? I also tried to get access to the Bechert (1997), but couldn't find it anywhere available. Any help with the source hunt would be appreciated! Jayaguru-Shishya (talk) 17:50, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

We meet again, hehe. Jayaguru-Shishya, I have read the Yogavac(h)ara Manual, and there is mentioning of focusing at the navel there. (But not the same point as Phramongkolthepmuni's meditation method though.) And I am not sure whether it really would prove any point. The main point of Phramongkolthepmuni's Dhammakaya meditation method is that there is a inner pathway within every human being, which he believed to be the deeper meaning of the word Middle Way in Buddhism. This pathway can be entered by stilling the mind in one place, rather than moving it around as in Anapanasati or in Satipatthana meditation as practiced by the Vipassana movement. This is the unique approach of Phramongkolthepmuni, but the overly dry tone of this article, and all the other problems in this article have killed these main important points. If you want my opinion, nothing can be gained by adding a page to the Rhys-Davids source, but if you insist, i can retrace it for you.S Khemadhammo (talk) 18:15, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

I have found it now, it is on page 8 ff. of the English source. I'll replace the Pali source with an English translation source. I will also write a new paragraph to make everyone understand the scope better of what the person adding this link was refering to.S Khemadhammo (talk) 18:34, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

I have now rewritten the paragraph about the relation between Dhammakaya meditation and meditation forms refered to as Tantric Theravada. Since the latter is a separate article specifically about this subject (in which the Dhammakaya tradition is also mentioned), i have taken the liberty of keeping this paragraph quite concise. I have therefore not expanded on the Yogavachara Manual anymore.S Khemadhammo (talk) 17:49, 24 June 2016 (UTC)
  1. ^ Rhys-Davids, PALI-ENGLISH DICTIONARY
  2. ^ Dhammakāya Foundation (1996). The Life & Times of Luang Phaw Wat Paknam (PDF). Bangkok: Dhammakāya Foundation. ISBN 978-974-89409-4-6.

|}

Lack of secondary sources

Though i haven't add this tag myself, I think this is indeed another problem of this article. It would be better if the samatha and vipassana sections were to be linked to references of Phramongkolthepmuni himself, and the Tipitaka afterwards, rather than only the Tipitaka.S Khemadhammo (talk) 01:29, 19 April 2016 (UTC)

I have moved the cleanup templates inline. I haven't removed the primary sources tag, but i am thinking of removing it altogether, since there isn't really any place left to tag. The factual accuracy tag i added myself, but i think it only is valid for the origins section now, as i do think the timeline of Phramongkolthepmuni not agreeing with the Thai article is still an issue.S Khemadhammo (talk) 21:04, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

What are these references?

Greetings! If one had a look at the current References list, one would find entries such as follows:

  1. D.iii.273, A.i.60
  2. A.iii.62, Vbh.378
  3. Comp.94
  4. Comp.203, Vism.125

Doesn't tell anything to me; we'd need something more steadfast. Cheers! Jayaguru-Shishya (talk) 09:53, 20 April 2016 (UTC)

They are references to Buddhist texts, in particular to the Tipitaka. I am not sure whether this agrees with Wikipedia conventions. S Khemadhammo (talk) 20:12, 20 April 2016 (UTC)
Thanks, S Khemadhammo. Could you help me to provide full quotations for these references? Cheers! Jayaguru-Shishya (talk) 18:20, 21 April 2016 (UTC)
Alright, i will see what I can do. Some of it is not available online though.S Khemadhammo (talk) 20:12, 21 April 2016 (UTC)
Some of the sources don't check out. That is, the references don't quite support the contents. As i said above, it maybe better to replace the references to the Tiptaka with references to Phramongkolthepmuni himself. This will also solve the problem of having too many primary sources. Anyway, I will clarify these references first before we start replacing them.S Khemadhammo (talk) 20:37, 21 April 2016 (UTC)
For example, reference 8 can be found online here: http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.22.0.than.html (Mahasatipatthana Sutta). This doesn't quite support the statements made though. I can understand what they're coming from, because Phramongkolthepmuni would often use this sutta in his explanations, but we might have to refer to Phramongkolthepmuni sermons instead to clarify things.S Khemadhammo (talk) 20:42, 21 April 2016 (UTC)
Done, all the references refer to actual English-language translations now. In a few days I will also start adding references to Phramongkolthepmuni himself, as there are at least two English sources available.S Khemadhammo (talk) 22:12, 21 April 2016 (UTC)

Over-linking and Easter eggs

To Jayaguru-Shishya, I understand you would like more transparency and clarity with regard to links, and I thank you for the edits, but I'd insist on keeping the link to the Nimitta. This is a technical term that I am sure not many readers will know, even Buddhist readers. S Khemadhammo (talk) 17:50, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

Hi there, S Khemadhammo. I would understand the case to link "nimitta", but it's actually a redirect to "Dhyāna in Buddhism" instead of a clarifying article of its own. Cheers! Jayaguru-Shishya (talk) 17:55, 22 April 2016 (UTC)
Alright. But links to Dhyāna in Buddhism and Arhat are actually quite helpful -- Jhana and Arhat are technical terms, which need to be explained for people not familiar with the details of the subject. Almost all Buddhist Wikpedia pages emphasize Sanskrit terms more than Pali, which is why the Jhana links to Dhyāna in Buddhism. As for arahant and arahat -- these are synonyms. The links really make more sense than you might think, and they help the reader to understand an otherwise overly scholarly page. Please assist in making this page more understandable.S Khemadhammo (talk) 18:01, 22 April 2016 (UTC)

Plagiarism?

@JimRenge: and others, please note some of content in the further reading entry from Ruangsan, Phramaha Niras (the PhD thesis) matches text of the article Luang Pu Sodh Candasaro#Teaching. This thesis is actually quite useful, and at first I intended to use it as a reference to improve on the article. Then I found the following paragraphs on page 3:

"Sot devoted the rest of his life to teaching and furthering the depth of knowledge of this meditation technique known as "Dhammakāya meditation or Vijjādhammakāya" (i.e., meditation for attaining the dhammakāya or by using the dhammakāya). In 1918, he was appointed abbot of Paknam Phasicharoen temple (or Wat Paknam Bhasicharoen), and there he devoted his time to researching the insights of Dhammakaya meditation and refined the technique to make it more systematic through experimenting with the ways the meditation could best be applied for the common good. During an exceptionally long ministry of over half-a-century, Sot was unflagging in teaching all comers the way to attain the dhammakāya, with activities nearly every day of the week. He recognised the need to open up and redevelop the oral tradition of meditation teaching, which was becoming disorganized and rare in Thai Buddhism. He provided the opportunity, with the technique, for meditators to verify for themselves, in their firsthand experience, the success of the technique.


Indeed, Sot would challenge others to meditate in order that they might verify for themselves the claims which he made about the technique. It was the response to this need which led to the building of the 'meditation workshop'. Sot declared that this workshop should be kept in use by meditators for twenty-four hours a day, day and night," [etc.][Emphasis added.]

Some of the phrases here match exactly those of Luang Pu Sodh Candasaro#Teaching, even though the paragraph of this wiki-article was written a few years before the PhD thesis was published. There are minor differences due to the Luang Pu Sodh article being edited for American English. The matches are more numerous though when we go back in time to previous versions of the named paragraph.

Whether this warrants deletion or not, I am in doubt, since the article is merely mentioned as a Further Reading source. Whatever the case may be, if including this source in this article violates Wikipedia policy somehow, let it be known for the record that I have marked it for deletion.--S Khemadhammo (talk) 06:18, 19 September 2016 (UTC)

@Diannaa: what do you think? Regarding "Indeed, Sot would challenge others to meditate in order that they might verify for themselves the claims which he made about the technique.", read Robert Sharf's "The Rhetorics of Meditative Experience." Best regards, Joshua Jonathan -Let's talk! 06:44, 19 September 2016 (UTC)
I have checked and agree that this part of the thesis was copied from Wikipedia. I suggest it should be removed from the Further Reading section so that people don't inadvertently use it as a source. If this part is copied, other parts might be as well. — Diannaa 🍁 (talk) 12:20, 19 September 2016 (UTC)
It was already included when the page was created, at 31 october 2005. You all noticed that the thesis starts with "Copyright and use of this thesis"? Though, we can't exclude the possibility that the PhD-author wrote this stuff for Wikipedia, as long ago as 11 years. Joshua Jonathan -Let's talk! 15:06, 19 September 2016 (UTC)

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

This review is transcluded from Talk:Dhammakaya meditation/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Stedil (talk · contribs) 01:06, 28 February 2018 (UTC)

Greetings! I will be reviewing this article. General comments and review progress will go in the table. Specific things to fix will be listed below. Stedil (talk) 01:06, 28 February 2018 (UTC)

Great, Stedil, thank you. Appreciate the help.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 02:18, 28 February 2018 (UTC)
I should start by admitting that I am not very proud about this article, and I think it still requires a lot of work. It is basically the first article I ever contributed to, and I did so without much editing experience. This review might therefore be quite intensive.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 14:07, 28 February 2018 (UTC)
Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well written:
1a. the prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct. I copyedited in places, but there are still a few areas that need addressing. Update: prose has been cleaned up.
1b. it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. There are several large (100 pages+) references whose in-line citations do not contain page numbers. It is difficult to verify information from those sources without the page numbers. Update: issue resolved.
2b. all in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines. I'll update this section once I can verify more sources (page # issue above). Update: issue resolved.
2c. it contains no original research.
2d. it contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism.
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. Just the 1917 discovery point mentioned below. Update: source digging revealed more work needed to be done here. Article has expanded to cover even more areas related to the topic.
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content.
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
7. Overall assessment. Some points to address below. Fix the page number issue first, as more points to address may materialize once I can check those sources. Update: all issues resolved. Passing.

Lead

* I'm noticing this issue in the lead, but it may need to be fixed throughout the article: Dhammakaya meditation is described in various points as a "method," "approach," "technique," with the terms used interchangeably and inconsistently. One example of inconsistency: "the technique was developed from 1916 onward," vs. in the photo caption: "there are several techniques," then later in the lead: "the method that Luang Pu Sodh developed and discovered." What would be the best way to describe it? I'm guessing either "method" or "approach" is the more accurate description for Dhammakaya meditation as a whole since there are probably several techniques used within the method/approach.

* "The technique was developed from 1916 onward, after which Luang Pu Sodh made a discovery which followers describe as a historical breakthrough. In particular, the method that Luang Pu Sodh discovered and developed is seen as the original method the Buddha used to attain enlightenment." Poorly phrased. Perhaps something along the lines of: "The (technique/method/approach) was discovered by Luang Pu Sodh in either 1916 or 1917. Since its discovery, it has been developed to reflect what followers believe was the original (technique/method/approach) the Buddha used to attain enlightenment." Stedil (talk) 01:13, 1 March 2018 (UTC)

i have standardized to method and reworded the lead along the lines of your suggestion Wikiman5676 (talk) 04:11, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

Origins

  • Dhammakaya 1996: provide page numbers to help identify the location of the cited information in the source. There are several other sources in this section that could also use page numbers.
 Done--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:41, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

* "This he would later describe as a deeper meaning" what does 'this' refer to? 'this' should be avoided at the beginning of paragraphs, as the paragraph break implies the beginning of a new idea.

Fixed Wikiman5676 (talk) 04:34, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
  • Dhammakaya Open University 2010, p. 154: double check to make sure the page number is correct. I can't seem to find the information referenced here on that page. Also, that page refers to the page of the pdf. Shouldn't it refer to the page printed on the document?

* "The center of the body is essential in this process: whatever technique someone might use to meditate, the mind can only attain to a higher level through this center, which Luang Por Sodh precisely describes." This sentence confuses me. What is the 'center of the body?' What is meant by 'attain to a higher level?' How, exactly, does 'Luang Por Sodh precisely describe' it?

Fixed Wikiman5676 (talk) 04:34, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

* "As its theoretical foundations, temples of the movement refer to the Satipatthana Sutta or the Visuddhimagga, among others" What does 'its' refer to? Are 'Satipatthana Sutta or the Visuddhimagga' the theoretical foundations, or is 'its' referring to the meditation methods referred to earlier in the paragraph?

Fixed Wikiman5676 (talk) 04:36, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
  • "but a new discovery by Luang Pu Sodh is 'quite possible'" the 'quite possible' quote in the source has nothing to do with any new discoveries by (about?) Luang Pu Sodh. Stedil (talk) 03:26, 28 February 2018 (UTC)
Rewritten.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:41, 4 March 2018 (UTC)
  • "Temples that refer to Luang Pu Sodh Candasaro as their teacher have published several biographies about him." Yesterday, I copyedited this sentence to make it flow better. In retrospect, I'm not sure it works well as an opening sentence to the body of the article. Perhaps a sentence that directly addresses the origins of Dhammakaya meditation would work better.
I think it suffices. Thank you.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:41, 4 March 2018 (UTC)
  • The lead mentions in a footnote that there are discrepancies between sources concerning when Luang Pu Sodh's "breakthrough" happened, but then this discrepancy isn't mentioned at all in the origins section. Related to the point above, perhaps a sentence about the fact that there is a discrepancy would be a good way to open this section. The article contains a lot of information about a September 1916 origin, but no mention of 1917 origins. A summary of information from these 1917 sources would be useful, plus any other discrepancies regarding the date of discovery. Stedil (talk) 00:43, 1 March 2018 (UTC)
from my understanding the only difference is the year. September 1916 or September 1917. Wikiman5676 (talk) 04:17, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
I'll check the other sources and add discrepancies in the article. See also this section on this talk page.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:41, 4 March 2018 (UTC)
Okay, Stedil and Wikiman5676, I have checked several secondary sources and made notes of what they say about Luang Pu Sodh's timeline. There is only one secondary source that mentions the attainment of the Dhammakaya, and places it at 1916. So, unless we have other secondary sources stating otherwise, I'll have to remove the note about an alternative timeline at 1917. Sorry about that.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 22:48, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

Development until present

* "According to a textbook of one temple, this was reserved for gifted practitioners" What does 'this' refer to? specify for clarity.

fixed Wikiman5676 (talk) 04:38, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

* "The brief was to use the meditation" What is meant by 'the brief'?

I'm pretty sure i fixed this but Farang Rak Tham should double check. Wikiman5676 (talk) 04:42, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
That is good, but I had to rewrite it closer to the sources. My mistake.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:41, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

* "in branch centers of the temples mentioned" does this refer to Wat Phra Dhammakaya and Wat Luang Por Sod Dhammakayaram? It's unclear and clunky phrasing. Stedil (talk) 01:42, 1 March 2018 (UTC)

fixed Wikiman5676 (talk) 04:57, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

The samatha stage

  • "e.i. recollecting the Buddha qualities." e.i? is this supposed to be i.e.?
Fixed--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:41, 4 March 2018 (UTC)
  • "every human being consists of eighteen bodies." Doesn't Mackenzie say eight? I'm not finding any reference to eighteen bodies in any of the cited sources. Stedil (talk) 01:33, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
Fixed--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:41, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

The vipassana stage

* "this final aspect" Be more specific - what does this refer to? Does it refer to abhiñña as a whole, or just to the extinguishing of Mara? Stedil (talk) 02:12, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

clarified Wikiman5676 (talk) 05:10, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

Discussion and research

  • "stating there was no widespread criticism" page number in reference is incorrect.
Fixed.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:41, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

* "Discussion within the Thai Sangha" Who are the Thai Sangha? Is there a wikilink?

rephrased Wikiman5676 (talk) 05:07, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
  • "As is common with all meditation techniques that emphasize samatha, the technique has been commented on mostly from a modernist standpoint" Meaning is unclear. From reading the source cited at the bottom of the paragraph, I think what is meant is that modernists are generally critical of meditation techniques that emphasize samatha. Rephrase so that this connection is more clear. Stedil (talk) 02:49, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
Fixed, I think.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 20:41, 4 March 2018 (UTC)
A little wordy, but it works. Stedil (talk) 02:32, 8 March 2018 (UTC)
 Tweaked--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 12:34, 8 March 2018 (UTC)

28 February

I'll have to start with adding the page numbers first. Today I have run out of time though.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 14:07, 28 February 2018 (UTC)

March

Wikiman5676, was celebrating Magha Puja today, and have guests tomorrow. Not sure how much I can fix of this in the following days. Can you help me out a bit? Thanks.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 23:09, 1 March 2018 (UTC)

I'm involved in quite a few things right now. But i'll try to do a bit. Wikiman5676 (talk) 02:22, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

Finished the initial review. See table for general comments. Stedil (talk) 03:04, 2 March 2018 (UTC)

Thank you for your time and effort, WM! I have now added some page numbers and rewritten some parts closer to the sources cited. There was also one incorrect source; I have replaced it with the correct one. I will try to continue this evening.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 14:02, 2 March 2018 (UTC)
Most page numbers have now been added. Those which have not been added yet, are sources which are not paginated (some Google Books are not), or not OCR-ed and therefore difficult to search. I have also rewritten and deleted considerably to get closer to the sources cited and to prevent WP:OR.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 00:30, 4 March 2018 (UTC)
ping, ping.
I'll take another look through the article sometime this week. Stedil (talk) 22:53, 4 March 2018 (UTC)
Appreciated, Stedil.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 23:21, 4 March 2018 (UTC)

Second Reading

  • "Besides the original meaning, there is also another meaning involving meditation technique" This sentence is unclear. It raises questions for the reader about what the original meaning is that aren't necessarily pertinent to the article. Would this sentence clarify the meaning better - "The deeper meaning was revealed to Luang Por Sodh through a meditation technique." It's also more internally consistent - "deeper meaning" vs. "another meaning".

Most of the issues I found were minor prose/grammar issues I could fix easily. I'm about ready to pass it pending your thoughts/revision above. Stedil (talk) 02:32, 8 March 2018 (UTC)

from my understanding. besides the original meaning of middle way, to avoid extreme asceticism and sensual indulgence, the Middle way has a deeper meaning regarding how to meditate. That's essentially what the statement is trying to say Wikiman5676 (talk) 02:50, 8 March 2018 (UTC)
Rewritten.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 12:27, 8 March 2018 (UTC)

9 March

Stedil, I have now expanded the article considerably, as I noticed that the references contained content that was not covered yet in the article. I have also added a table with the kāyas, the states in meditation. I hope it will not take too much of your time to take a look at the article again.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 22:36, 9 March 2018 (UTC)

  • Background section - this is a good start to a new section, but some more detail would be helpful. "people's perceptions" Did all Thai people really think that way? "reformed and became politicised" how so? why? Expand on how the reforms influenced meditation practice, if possible from available sources. Is there any other background information that would be useful here?
There is.  Expanded.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 08:54, 10 March 2018 (UTC)
  • "However, the emphasis differs, with some temples being more esoteric about the method than others." Could you expand on this a bit? How is it more esoteric?
 Done.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 08:54, 10 March 2018 (UTC)
  • What is an "absorption"? Stedil (talk) 02:06, 10 March 2018 (UTC)
A meditative state. Difficult to rephrase without becoming vague, but wikilinked throughout the article.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 08:54, 10 March 2018 (UTC)
As a sidenote, I'd like to say that by tomorrow I am going to a foreign country, and may respond less frequent here. I will be back here the 24th.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 12:18, 10 March 2018 (UTC)

Since all issues have been addressed, I'll pass the article. Good work on this article, and enjoy your trip. Stedil (talk) 13:38, 10 March 2018 (UTC)

Thanks, Stedil! In the meantime, good luck with the Wikicup!--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 14:39, 10 March 2018 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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